Ishqbaaz OS : Just One More Time |Shivika | Ishqbaaaz | Surbhi Chandna | Nakuul Mehta

Annika leaned against the back of the seat and the only thing that keeping her together is the hand of her brother, Saahil in her hands as a comfort.

Her eyes were red from the way she constantly cried last night, more like every day for the past week, before taking this decision.

A painful decision but the right one nonetheless

If what she took was a right decision, then why does her heart feel so restless?

Why?

After everything happened why can't she just forget him?

Why?

After every insult, every pain he had given her why cant she still let go of these feelings she has for him?

Why?

After he had broken her heart into pieces why the broken pieces of her heart still longs for him?

She felt like she had lost everything because he was everything to her. She had never felt like this even when she had grown in orphanage while her chutki got adopted. She was left behind her own parents, chutki had left her behind in the orphanage and her adoptive parents had died leaving her again.

This hurt like nothing ever did...

Going away from him felt like she is ripping her body into half and the thought of leaving him brought fresh set of tears in her eyes. But Saahil's hand in her reminded her of what responsibilities she has in her brothers life.

Annika tried to forget the emptiness that had replaced her heart.

She closed her eyes and all she could see were the azure eyes that held her captivated, the smirk that can render you speechless, and his beard that can arouse you with just a single glimpse of it.

His smirks...

His voice against her ear...

His stubble against her cheek...

His breath against her neck...

His hands around her waist...

Annika opened her eyes immediately and withdrew her hands from Saahil gently and exited where they were sitting, informing that she will come back soon, ran towards the rest room and emptied of what little she ate yesterday in the basin.

Sick... She is sick...

How can she still think of him?

How can she?

Annika washed her face, rinsed her mouth and tried to walk back to Saahil with trembling legs, heaving for breath. She cannot let Saahil see her like this. She will scare him. He is already worried for her and she cannot put this on a child's shoulder.

It all started the day she had gone to his office as a temporary canteen manager and obviously they started the fights when he was too egoistical and she wasn't any easy either. She worked there just few days till the original canteen manager was released from hospital. But the few days were enough to leave the permanent impression of him.

Shivaay...

Shivaay Singh Oberoi..

The man she loved...

There was an immediate attraction the second she gazed at those azure eyes but she ignored it and the clashes between their personalities helped her to stay angered with him. But soon she realized that she kept looking for the days he will come down to the canteen to criticize her about the menu and quality of food which soon will turn into banter. And the number of times she made him smile a little with her crazy antics started becoming a treasure in her heart.

Their arguments had turned into a friendly banter they both started enjoying and he started to come to the canteen to have a chat with her instead of trying to belittle her like before and it was turning dangerous. So dangerous that she wanted to run away from him because love or relationship is not on her list. The return of the canteen manager of his office was a blessing to her.

She had witnessed how his face fell a little when she had informed him that she is leaving the office. But even though he didn't stop her, she had left with heavy heart, missing him the second she walked out of the office.

The days felt so empty after leaving his office and she had became silent, withdrawn and started collecting the newspaper clips if she even so much as glimpsed Shivaay's name in the newspaper much to Saahil's amusement and her brother started to call her as Shivaay's fan. But she ignored it and started developing another strange habit of watching the business channel because she missed him so much that she put herself through the torture of watching the business channel for hours just to catch a glimpse of him.

But she had to start her business too so she buried her awakening feelings in her heart by keeping herself busy with work. It was crazy days of trying to get contracts for her newly started wedding planning company since she had many contacts of suppliers and music organizers. It was not any great but it was a start from her, her first step on becoming a stable support to her brothers future and surprise, surprise guess who contacted her for her first project? Shivaay Singh Oberoi.

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard his voice after weeks to let her know that he had chosen her as a wedding planner for his brother Rudra's wedding. But she had to co-work with another two wedding planners since the marriage event will be huge. She agreed not only because this would be her first job but also that she wanted to see him.

When she reached past the securities to enter the Oberoi Mansion finally, with him leaning against the main entrance door, she could still remember that he took her breath away so that she kept gazing at him so openly that he was the one to first avert his eyes from hers. The pictures in newspaper and some blurry video clipping of him did not justify the real person.

It was the first time... first time she admitted that he was handsome to herself and that night she dreamt about being held by those strong arms. She blushed and stuttered next day not able to meet his eyes remembering the dream. He took particular pleasure in teasing her, startling his family since how he always looked grumpy and cold. Even she was surprised that he started behaving so differently. Their relationship had changed somehow of being boss and employees to friends.

His family was so beautiful that she envied him sometimes because everyone in the family was a gem and most of all loved each other unconditionally and the way he behaved with his family especially his brothers were mind boggling that how could one be so different to others and then towards his family, he was such a child.

Om and Rudra soon became her friends and they enjoyed teasing the grumpy billu. He will glower and mock glare at them whenever they teased him but she could see that he didn't really mean it and enjoyed just as much as teasing them back.

The sangeeth of Rudra was the doom of her because she couldn't run away from these feelings anymore. When he had pulled her in a corner to dance with her, his hands were everywhere and the way his azure eyes looked at her as if she is the prey and he is the predator, wanting to devour her whole.

She regretted wearing a saree that day because his hand on her bare waist was enough to make her knees weak but she didn't push him away. The way he leaned his head to inhale against her neck and the way the stubble pierced against her which she had been dreaming for the past few days had driven her insane. But when the song ended he moved away from her, leaving her in the corner but not before his finger caressed a slow circle on her waist making her shudder against him.

She had ran away, leaving it to the rest of employees to pack the decorations and stuff, spent herself in a long shower to cool her head because he made her feel like a women and her dreams from that day had started becoming more erotic and she blushed even now thinking about the details.

When Shivaay was absent on Rudra's haldi was the day that she realized how deep she had fallen for him and that she is in love with him. She had been worried sick because it was his brother's function and he would never miss anything related to his brothers. Rudra and Om were fretting about Shivaay when he didn't pick anyone's calls.

But later he came through the door apologizing that his Chopper had been delayed due to weather, then only she felt that her heart could beat again.

Shivaay...

Shivaay...

She had fallen for Shivaay slowly, without even realizing but too deeply and irrevocably she had fallen in love with him, with his arrogant attitude, with his charming side, with his devilish smirks, with his azure eyes, with his rare smiles, with his care for family, with his stubble, with his hands.

God! She had fallen for him too deep that it had scared her..

The marriage day the ministers and many celebrities attended the function, making her realize of how different their status is, how different their world is. Her job had been completed and she left the Oberoi Mansion along with leaving her heart to Shivaay which he doesn't even know.

She knew even if Shivaay was friendly towards her, he will never see her in that away after all Shivaay valued name, line, lineage then how could he even think of an orphan like her who has no surname nor family background.

Frankly her love for him had scared her because even while knowing its unrequited, she felt like she will give her life to him without even blinking if he so much as wished for it. So she decided the distance was a blessing to release her from the torture of being near Shivaay.

But fate seemed to have it for her when she tried to avoid him; it had other plans which started with the call from Dadi to request her to be as a wedding planner to Priyanka Oberois' marriage.

It was maddening that fate again crossed her path with him. But after reaching to Oberoi Mansion again, she heard from Jhanvi aunty of how Shivaay was the one who convinced them to let Priyanka marry her love, an ordinary man compared to them, the ACP Ranveer and how also it was Shivaay who convinced Rudra and Soumya to get together.

She tried hard to not let herself hope but it all vanished the second she saw him again after weeks. Her heart skipped a beat even after days just with the glimpse of him, the butterflies in her stomach returning tenfold than before.

This time their family had an extra member, Daksh who was Shivaay's childhood friend and she befriended him immediately, wanting to know about a child Shivaay not noticing the pair of angry eyes.

She regretted ever befriending Daksh because he tried to speak with her whenever she wanted to approach Shivaay and on Prinku's Sangeeth, Daksh proposed her all of a sudden by hugging her and trying to kiss her out of the blue. She felt so disgusted with the whole thing that she ignored someone retreating from the scene. She was disgusted not because he had feelings for her since anyone can fall for anyone but trying to kiss her out of the blue. So she had slapped him and had warned him to not even come close to her within a meter distance. She was glad for being harsh with him because he had disappeared after that day from Mansion.

But for some reason Shivaay avoided her so obviously just when she decided to confess him when she cannot take her heart going crazy all over again but she hesitated seeing how he had become so close to Tia all of a sudden. He had become the Shivaay Singh Oberoi she had first met in the office. It was driving her insane. She started insulting her again for her line, surname and lineage, hurting her. What hurt more was that he hurt her even though knowing that she's hurt. It tore her love filled heart into pieces, not understanding anything.

And just few days before, he wanted her to accompany him somewhere and she with hope filled heart followed him like a fool thinking that whatever she did to unintentionally hurt him had been solved. She was confused when he brought her to an office with Khanna and she froze horror stuck realizing that Tia was there.

Her world crumbled down when he, Shivaay, the man she had fallen for her asked to be a witness to his registered marriage with Tia. She couldn't really understand what was really going on nor what he was saying about how Tia and he was in a living relationship or that how Tia wanted a confirmation, some sort of proof for their relationship. He said that he didn't want to marry but he didn't want to hurt Tia too and they have decided to register marriage as a compromise since they are not ready to handle responsibilities of both of their family.

And when she looked at his eyes, she knew. She knew that he knew how much she was hurt with his actions. He almost looked like he enjoyed seeing her hurt.

How could he?

How could he do this to her?

How can he?

How can he be this cruel?

Were the past few months were nothing to him?

Had he not felt anything between them just like she did?

Or did she misunderstood everything from his teasing to how he held her close sometimes as if protecting her from the world?

Had she read his actions wrong?

But now she cannot do anything.

All she can do is sign her name on the registry book with trembling hands and had went away from there, excusing herself with some stupid reason not wanting to witness him put a ring or mangalsutra on her. She is brave but she is not that brave to see the love of her life getting married to some girl.

Shivaay didn't stop just there till the day of Priyanka's marriage, he started hurting her with his actions, with his words but she kept the promise of keeping a secret of their marriage from their family since she is just an outsider and she didn't want to interfere in his private business when he is the husband of someone else.

Annika wiped her tears off and opened the door where Saahil sat, trying to put on a brave facade, letting go of the memories of the few months from her mind.

But Saahil even though younger in age saw through her just like usual and put his walking stick away, tapping his lap.

And she sat beside Saahil and laid her head on the small child's lap, crying her heart out silently.

Saahil's fingers caressed her hair and she watched the scenario passing by from the window of the train compartment. It has been two weeks since Prinku's marriage that she decided she cannot survive here. She wanted something new, a new atmosphere else she will give in to the urge of taking her life away.

She kept reminding herself of Saahil's name as a mantra, to keep on living.

Why did she even fell in love like that?

She had settled everything and decided to leave the city and packed everything, throwing her sim away not wanting to even speak with anyone who knew her because it reminded her of him somehow and left the house, sending the furniture already to her new house with the service boy, throwing the newspaper clips of him away, she bravely moved to the train station.

She could have forgiven him for every pain, every hurt, every harsh word and his every cruel action but not this, never this...

Annika knew that Shivaay have known about her feelings for him. Then why did he do this to her, to them? Why did he throw their future away? How could he do this? She knew that she had unintentionally hurt him but she didn't know what she did. But they could have solved it if only he discussed it with her instead of marrying Tia.

Just thinking of those strong hands around Tia and his azure eyes full of love gazing at Tia was enough to make her feel nauseous again. Saahil's hands on her were like a lifeline to her.

Annika cried her heart out because after this. No more.

She will not cry anymore for that cruel man

She loved him with everything but he is not above her Saahil. For Saahil, she will bury everything she felt for him in her heart. Because he is someone's husband now and she didn't want to love someone who is married.

But for now she let herself feel, knowing this way only she could move on. She has gone through many horrific things and these things are nothing compared to the days of orphanage where she hid from the watchman who tried to molest her.

Compared to those days, these are really nothing.

Annika closed her eyes and his image of him appeared behind her eyes..

Just one more time..

Just one more time..

She wanted to go back to the days of planning Rudra's wedding where she secretly took glances at him without worrying about nothing..

Just one more time..

Just one more time..

She wanted to go back to the day where he pulled her to a corner to dance with her secretly..

Just one more time..

Just one more time..

She wanted to relive the days of feeling special the way he treated her, the way he stared at her, the way his eyes ate her..

She will move on she knew with time her love will may not fade but she will let go of this love and she will definitely move on but for now she wished to be in his arms Just One More Time

-----------------------------------------------------

******Some Months Later******

Om didn't know what's wrong but he knew for a fact that something is really, really wrong with his brother Shivaay.

Shivaay didn't look his usual self at all and his hair was messy which Om had never seen his brother ignoring it like that in his life.

Shivaay hadn't been himself at all after Prinku's marriage. At first they thought that he misses Prinku because he was the one who pampered all of them the most. So he would take it hard even if one of them leaves for few days.

But it's almost six months after Prinku had got married and everyone in the family got used to her absence mostly because Ranveer always brings her to Oberoi Mansion every Friday night and let her stay till Sunday night.

But... Shivaay had only gotten worse.

The amount of work Shivaay had done the past six months will never be matched by any human possibly.

If Shivaay was a workaholic before six months then now he's a work machine.

Shivaay succeeded multiple deals over a month alone was a proof of how much he overworked, even Mr. Oberoi was proud of Shivaay and advised him to rest for a while which itself was one of the miracle of miracles.

But all of a sudden Shivaay took break from his work a month ago unexpectedly, surprising everyone. Rudra was the one who was overjoyed about this, jumped at Shivaay all the while shouting and yelling that how much he missed his Shivaay Bhaiyaa for the past five months.

It's not that something is wrong with Shivaay physically but on emotional level something is definitely very wrong.

Because Shivaay had made Rudra to accept the marriage with Soumya which was just a month ago of Prinku's marriage, giving a thorough scolding and advise about marriage.

Which was really, really strange...

Because even though Om loves his brother unconditionally, he knew that Shivaay doesn't give a damn about marriage and in fact will be happy with a living together relationship.

So why did Shivaay had pushed Rudra to accept his marriage? but Om let it go seeing how happy Rudra is with Soumya. Maybe Shivaay's business mind had foreseen how much Rudra and Soumya loved each other, hiding it with false pretense and giving into their ego.

And even stranger that he found about Prinku's love and had miraculously convinced everyone to marry her to the ACP. It was really strange, Shivaay ignoring the status, name and lineage, married Prinku to Ranveer. Om let that go too after seeing how honest and straightforward Ranveer was. Even Mr. Oberoi was happy with his son in law. That is saying something.

After two months from Prinku's marriage, Shivaay had finally found about the girl Om had saved by marrying her in Bareli...

Om don't know how Shivaay found out and Mr. Oberoi was livid, enraged that all his three children had never let him know anything and Shivaay had stick Dadi on Om to lecture him about mangalsutra values and all.

Shivaay even went so far as to make Om see the truth of the goon Khali and how innocent Gauri was in all this, making him agreeable to a real wedding after two months from Prinku's marriage.

But after three months of his marriage with Gauri, he could tell that he loved her and life couldn't be any better. Mr. Oberoi and Gauri were inseparable much to the amazement of his mom and Om. But Om realized that Mr. Oberoi probably misses his daughter and now had mentally adopted Gauri as his daughter.

Life's really better and even more when Gauri's around with her bubbly attitude and weird language.

Everyone in the family was really happy and everything's fine...

Except Shivaay...

Shivaay, his brother is not really fine and seemingly falling apart.

The eldest of the family, Shivaay is single while they are all married and happy with their life.

Om feels guilty sometimes for being happy while his brother is self destructing.

Om had for the past six months had tried numerous times to talk with Shivaay but all the time it ended with tensed minutes which left both of them disagree on things, even ending up in verbal fights few times.

Om doesn't know what to do...

At first, he had a suspicion that his brother had a crush on the wedding planner of Rudra and also Prinku's marriage, Annika.. Everyone could see that there's a sizzling chemistry between them..

But after Prinku's marriage, Annika had disappeared from their life. Om and Dadi was planning on hiring her for some events so that they could make Shivaay and Annika to meet more.

But Annika had switched her phone off, later Om realized she must have changed her number and one day Om was desperate to bring something in Shivaay's life to break his insane work routine and decided to go visit Annika in her house itself but he was shocked to hear that Annika had vacated the house. And pressing the landlord, all he got from the landlord was that Annika had told that she's leaving the city itself.

Om didn't know what to do...

Was Annika the reason Shivaay had changed into the work maniac?

But Om knew his brother Shivaay...

Even if he was in denial or had a problem with Annika, Shivaay wouldn't behave like this..

Never...

He will never ignore his family like this..

At sometimes when Shivaay is home, Om could see well that something is troubling Shivaay. Sometimes Shivaay had an expression of guilt as if he's hiding something from them.

Om didn't want to push Shivaay so he let him..

And Om was relieved beyond words when Shivaay took a break from work a month before. Even though Shivaay goes out sometimes, Shivaay stayed most of the times in the home.

But the relief was short lived because even though Shivaay stayed at home, he was not his usual self.

There really is something wrong with Shivaay and even dumbbell Oberoi, Rudra could see it.

So today Om decided to have another talk with Shivaay of what's wrong but he knew deep down that Shivaay will avoid that topic just like every time. Om didnt knock and opened the door of Shivaay.

He was quite surprised to see Shivaay looking tired and his hair tousled, sitting on his bed, the room was quite dark since it's already evening..

"Shivaay..."

Shivaay looked up at him startled as if he didn't know someone had entered the room. This indicated how disoriented Shivaay was because Shivaay was always aware of his surroundings and it was unlikely to surprise him.

"Hey Om..."

Shivaay's voice held sadness and Om felt like crumbling into pieces at how broken Shivaay looked.

Om crossed the distance between them and pulled Shivvay into tight hug, noticing how Shivaay had lost weight these six months.

It's almost as if Shivaay is regretting something.

Why didn't Om notice it before? He knew Shivaay was falling apart but never like this. Om felt so hopeless and helpless.

He held his brother, feeling his heart ache looking at how his brother was...

Because...

He's Shivaay Singh Oberoi...

The Great wall of Oberoi family...

The one who can face any hurricane with a smirk...

The one who stood and protected their family when everyone including Mr. Oberoi crumbled down..

Shivaay is the protector...

He is strong...

In fact the strongest...

Om didn't want to see him like this..

"What's wrong Shivaay?"

Om whispered in the quite room and was startled to feel Shivaay's shudder against him.

He tried to pull from the hug to look at Shivaay but Om was even more shocked to find Shivaay holding him in a hug, not wanting to pull away from Om, Shivaay's fingers clutched against the back of Om's shirt almost desperately.

And Om held him, held his brother..

Shivaay has even became a great brother to Gauri and Soumya that they even rivaled Prinku's admiration in their Shivaay Bhaiyaa.. Gauri and Soumya always find something to spend time with Shivaay, abandoning their husbands much to his and Rudra's shock and surprise of how they adored their brother Shivaay just like them.

If Shivaay was strange the past month, he was even stranger this week.

Making Pinky Aunty to cook him after so long and even allowed her to feed him which much to Om and Rudra's amusement turned into a fight over Pinky Aunty, their mom and Dadi of who will feed him because it was very rare of Shivaay to allow that. And turned even funnier with how Sakthi uncle joined in their fight that he would be the one to feed his son.

Yesterday, Shivaay had stayed away from home like sometimes, going out of the city.

Om had a sinking suspicion that Shivaay went to secretly glimpse or know about Annika..

Did Annika marry someone or in love with someone else? Is it why Shivaay is so vulnerable?

Om asked again,

"What's wrong Shivaay..?"

"Please Om... Not now..."

And pulled away from the hug...

What happened to my brother..?

"Can we watch movies or something for tonight and have dinner here?"

Om was getting shocked frequently...

Yes, Om along with Rudra had witnessed Shivaay being vulnerable only very rarely..

But this vulnerable..

This... This isn't something Om cannot deal with..

"Ok.. I will inform the family.. I will just go and..."

Om was cut off in mid sentence..

"Just three of us Om... Like old times"

Om understood that Shivaay wanted to be with his brothers alone.

Yes, Om and Rudra are married but always Shivaay comes first even before God for Om and he knew Rudy felt the same.

Om nodded at him; finally feeling like Shivaay will open up to them and that he will share of whats troubling him for so long.

"Go and call Rudy... Ok? I will arrange the projector..."

"Ok Shivaay.. I will bring Ridra and also food for three of us. Just.. Just wait for few minutes. I will be right back with Rudy.."

Om didn't want to leave Shivaay but the hesitant smile Shivaay offered calmed him to go and call Rudra.

Om hastily moved towards the kitchen first, asking the maids to arrange food for three of them, informing Dadi and Gauri that he and his brothers will probably spend rest of the night in Shivaay's room and moved towards Rudra's room, knocking it since he's living with his wife..

Rudra groaned in irritation at Sumo's usual rant of some research in London saying how that girls are known to eat healthy food more than boys implying that girls are smarter.

It's all because of Rudra had Pizza as a lunch made by his Shivaay bhaiyaa especially for him since its his cheat day.

Sumo is having her day with scolding for eating a not so proper lunch.

Rudra slightly smiled despite his irritation because he knew that she cared for him despite all the rant. But still how could he not eat the pizza which Shivaay bhaiyaa had made for him, remembering still that it's cheat day of Rudra.

It was a long journey for them to get where they are now.


It couldn't have been if it was not his Shivaay bhaiyaa.

Shivay bhaiyaa who knew Rudra even more than Rudra himself had refused to speak with him unless he acted like an adult and take responsibility. Going so far of explaining how Soumya's life would be after someone released their video clip if he refused to accept their relationship.

And then he accepted the marriage, facing it head on, his bhaiyaa stood beside every step he took and Rudra started to grow up and mature albeit only a little bit.

After his marriage, it was a roller coaster ride of sending Prinku to a different house after her marriage and to the shock of everyone Om's marriage news came out.

Rudra was speechless because Om never lied to anyone and hated it but had hid the fact of his marriage albeit saving a girl.

Shivaay bhaiyaa had somehow known about it of how there was attraction between O and Gauri bhabhi. Rudra could see it now that they're as happy as Rudra and Sumo.

His bhaiyaa is really a superman. He didn't know why can't people see that he saved lives?

But then again Shivaay bhaiyaa had changed for the past six months, worrying him with how much Bhaiyaa overworked.

Bhaiyaa had been different and still made sure to have at least a little time for O and Rudra which Rudra treasured to his heart.

Bhaiyaa is amazing and he is someone Rudra can never reach up to even if he tried. But still bhaiyaa walked along with them in the path called life, guiding O and Rudra, keeping their family together.

But something is wrong with bhaiyaa..

Rudra had thought, just like O and Dadi that bhaiyaa is really not alright after Annika di had left.

And Rudra had tried every plan from stupid to genius one in uniting them while she was a wedding planner in the mansion..

But something changed in between them because Annika di who was a bubbly character and a very social person had cut every connection after Prinku's marriage.

It was really strange...

Rudra was informed by O that of how Annika di even left the city and God knows where.

Rudra knew that his Shivaay bhaiyaa was sad even if he cannot admit how Annika di affected him so Rudra did everything he could to make his superman bhaiyaa smile.

Rudra liked it when his Bhaiyaa smiled...

His azure eyes twinkling, happiness filled in it even if Shivaay bhaiyaa don't use words to express, Rudra and O could always see how happy and alive bhaiyaa is when he smiled.

"Hey.. Hey.. Rudra.. Here I am telling you about the research on proper meals I read about last week, you're not even listening."

Rudra smiled at her and pulled her chubby cheeks..

If he was told a year before of how he would fall in love with a chubby girl, he knew his past self would never believe it, chasing after stupid girls who only wanted money.

Sumo pouted when he pinched her cheeks but Rudra laughed, leant towards her and kissed her cheeks, making it redden.

It was a very good way to shut her up if she started going on about research and stuff.

Just then he heard a knock of his room and wondered who it was.

He opened the door, catching a glimpse of O...

"Hey O, Thank God you saved me from this research monster. You don't kn..."

Rudra shut up taking one look at O's expression. His smile left, replaced by a frown on his face.

"What happened?"

Om brushed his long hair away from his face, indicating that he is worried,

"Shivaay needs us Rudy.. He wants us to spend time with him, watch a movie."

Rudra immediately nodded and went back to put a T-shirt on, smiling apologetically at Sumo since he had promised to watch a show with her but she nodded in understanding which had was the trait in her Rudra always loved the most.

Rudra closed the door and walked along with O,

"Is everything alright O? Is Shivaay bhaiyaa fine?"

"I don't know Rudy.. I have never seen him like this. Be careful, ok? Let him talk rather than pushing him, ok? He's worrying me.. He looks so vulnerable that it's hard to believe it's our brother Shivaay.."

Rudra nodded, feeling worry creep inside him, increasing its intensity like a breeze turning into a storm as seconds passed.

Rudra watched Om taking the dinner trolley from the servant who stood outside bhaiyaa's room and they both moved in, locking the door.

Shivaay bhaiyaa looked like hell yet... Yet he smiled at Rudra, trying to soothe Rudra's worried expression. Even in this stage, he worries about Rudra and like always it tugs at his heart of how much Shivaay bhaiyaa loved Rudra..

Rudra felt sick seeing how weak his Bhaiyaa looked. How come he didn't notice to the extent of his Shivaay bhaiyaa breaking down? But as always Shivaay bhaiyaa had grown good in acting as the years passed, not wanting anyone to know if he decided to hide something.

But Rudra kept shut not wanting to pressurize Bhaiyaa while he's like this and sat on the floor just like in childhood days with bhaiyaa and Om.

Bhaiyaa surprisingly put the cd of the film both Om and Rudra liked when they were a child.

It's just an animation film and Om along with him filled the silence, making bhaiyaa laugh and they shared the dinner while sometimes Rudra stole something from bhaiyaa's plate while bhaiyaa himself fed him sometimes despite the dish being Bhaiyaa's all time favorite.

They watched the film with childish enthusiasm because the film always brought childhood memories and it had been so long that the three of them spent time together and Rudra missed it a lot, feeling lonely of the distance between them.

Yes, he's married and Sumo's a part in his life which cannot be filled by anyone and O was there too along with the rest of the family.

But no one, no one can ever replace the hole in Rudra's heart occupied by his bhaiyaa and he misses him nowadays.

Just when the film ended, Bhaiyaa looked tired so Om put the plates and trolley outside of the room so the servants can take it and they decided to let bhaiyaa lie down on the bed.

While Rudra occupied the right side of Bhaiyaa, Om decided to sit on the left side of their brother.

They both sat and watched the curled up, vulnerable form of their brother that it's so heart wrenching to see their brother like this.

Shivaay bhaiyaa's azure eyes looked lost and gazed at them in defeat.

Om and Rudra knew that his brother is going to say finally of what has been bothering him.

So they waited patiently, looking at him curling on himself, his face expressed immense guilt and regret.

Rudra was sure that he will forgive his Shivaay bhaiyaa and stand beside him even if he revealed that his bhaiyaa had somehow committed murder..

Anything, Rudra can forgive him for anything as long as his brother won't look like this.

Rudra knew that he's wrong thinking like that but he doesn't care. Om may value the morals and all. Rudra too values the morals but not when it comes to his Shivaay Bhaiyaa..

The whole world on one side and his Shibaay bhaiyaa on the other side, Rudra will choose his Bhaiyaa without any moment of hesitation because that's how much Rudra respected, admired, looked up to, loved his bhaiyaa that he blindly will believe at anytime that his Shivaay bhaiyaa is right..

Om watched Shivaay, clenching his fingers from reaching out to caress Shivaay's hair.

Because if he did, it will probably make Shivaay restless when he was finally going to tell them what's wrong.

Om now felt immensely guilty too because it's heart wrenching to see your brother suffering like this and Om realized that this must how Shivaay felt when he came to know about Om's drug habits..

Yet Shivaay pulled him through it, stood beside him when the whole family was upset with him for the drug use, made Om to go through rehabilitation, set art gallery for Om, stopped Om from the biggest mistake he could have done by misunderstanding Gauri.

His brother Shivaay...

Even if tore Om from inside, Om will stand beside Shivaay even if he committed something morally wrong. Even if Om could not forgive himself, he will forgive Shivaay.

Because this is Shivaay, Om's brother who pieced the broken pieces of Om and had made him stand, caught every time Om fell in life, pulled him out of darkness, showing what life is.

Om and Rudra watched when Shivaay uncurled from his defensive position and looked up at the ceiling, not facing either of them and whispered,

"You know... Just before Prinku's marriage..."

Om and Rudra waited patiently for him to continue,

"I... I brought Annika to somewhere and I did the worst thing I could do to hurt her.. She.. I hurt her Om..."

Om and Rudra still remained silence even though their suspicions were right that this somehow involved Annika.

"I... I... I brought her to the register office and made her a witness to the marriage between me and Tia..."

Om sucked in sharp breath and warned silently of Rudra who opened his mouth to fire questions so as to let Shivaay everything out he had bottled for six months.

Om and Rudra both knew that Annika definitely had a crush, they could even say was charmed and fallen for their brother even if they were not hundred percent sure whether their brother loved her or not because he is good at hiding things even from them. That was why they both were confused of why Annika even went so far and left the city.

Now Om knew that being a witness to someone you truly loved was probably the worst punishment given to them..

But why Tia..?

Why register marriage..?

It doesn't make sense at all and even if Shivaay wanted to marry Tia, they will definitely support his decision and nothing made sense.

Om had a sinking thought Shivaay had done this for his stupid ego of name, line, lineage and all that so he could show Annika of how different they are, to hurt her.

But then why did Shivaay made Om to marry Gauri..? Shivaay got along really well with Guari that Shivaay treated her just like Prinku.

Did he finally let go of all those beliefs..?

Does he regret what he had done..?

And looking at how Shivaay is, he definitely regrets it but stayed silent, waiting for Shivaay to continue.

"I regret it... I never wanted to hurt her. It was... I..."

"Why bhaiyaa..? Why Tia? Why keep this marriage secret? Nothing makes sense."

Rudra fired the questions, not able to remain silent anymore.

Om looked shocked at seeing how empty Shivaay looked all of a sudden.

It was very clear that Shivaay loved Annika. Did he only realize it later? How Shivaay could hurt Annika like that was beyond Om.

"That was fake.. Everything was a drama.. I didn't marry or anything... I just wanted to hurt her.."

Shivaay..."

Om was taken aback of how far Shivaay could go to hurt Annika..

Om knew Shivaay goes out of town some days and his suspicions were confirmed that he goes to see Annika..

Did she not forgive him..? But Om knew it will be hard for anyone to forgive if they were in Annika's place.

Was she in a relationship or something? Did Shivaay hurt her because of some misunderstanding? Is that why Shivaay resolved the misunderstandings between Gauri and him?

"Why Shivaay? Why did you go so far to hurt her even though you knew how much it will hurt her..? Why?"

Shivaay looked at Om from the ceiling and also turned to face Rudra, his expression closed off like the time he's in office.

"Om and Rudra, I had made everything I own in your names except some small portion for family and my parents."

What in the hell Shivaay is thinking by bringing a taboo topic which both Rudra and Om hated just to distract them from Annika's topic.

"Shivaay, you knew how much I hate this topic. I had told you countless time that I don't care about money and properties."

"Yes bhaiyaa.. Now tell us why did you do that to Annika di?"

Shivaay continued as if he didn't hear them,

"No one can trick you in that because there is no loop hole in that documents. You know I even set aside accounts for your future children.."

Shivaay tried to lighten up with a silly teasing smile but it failed and the smile flattered on Shivaay's face when Shivaay curled again in a vulnerable position.

"Bhaiyaa.. Please tell us what's wrong.? Why are you shutting us out? We shared everything, right? You have always stood beside us and solved everything for us... Please just tell us so that we can help you."

Om looked at Shivaay with wide eyes hearing Shivaay's next words.

"I am sorry Om... I am sorry Ru..."

Shivaay never liked saying sorry and always avoids doing anything that makes him to say sorry to them.

Rudra must have been shocked to with the way he blabbered,

"Sorry? Ru? Bhaiyaa.. Please.. Don't be sorry. We're younger than you and you're our eldest brother. You have every right on us no matter what you did or do. So stop saying sorry and all. If you don't want to speak about Annika di, it's fine. I will talk with her, will beg her if necessary so please don't... Don't.. Bhaiyaa, are you.. are you crying?"

Rudra's eyes widened impossibly, mirroring Om at how Shivaay bhaiyaa's shaking form, trying so hard to keep a strong front in front of them.

With teary eyes, his bhaiyaa looked at them,

"I am sorry I lied to you..."

"It's ok bhaiyaa... It's fine.. I mean I lie frequently.. You don't have to apologize or..."

Shivaay bhaiyaa cut him off,

"I am sorry I kept things from you two and lied.. I am really sorry Om.. I am sorry Ru.."

Rudra cannot bear it anymore and moved to caress the tears away from his bhaiyaa's face.

Om asked bhaiyaa,

"Shivaay... This.. This isn't about Annika, is it?"

Rudra didn't understand what Om was asking and watched Bhaiyaa who now stopped shaking and looked at Om..

"The report came eight months before... And I am so-sorry Om.. I am really sorry Ru... My heart's not functioning w-well... And.. I.. I.. I'm d-dying.."

Rudra felt like the world froze...

This isn't what he had even dreamt ever in his life..

Tears welled up and started flowing from his eyes..

"Shivaay.. please stop this cruel joke.. You.. You.. You can't... This.."

Om stopped in mid speech when Shivaay doubled over, clutching his shirt where heart lays...

"Shivaay.. Shivaay... Please..."

Om leaned over and patted Shivaay's back when he started coughing.

"Shivaay.. Shivaay..."

Tears freely flowed down Om's cheeks, not knowing that this is a nightmare or reality.

"Rudra... Rudra.. Call.. Call everyone. We have to take him to hospital"

Rudra was frozen with horrified expression.

Om ran hastily looking at how Shivaay struggled to breath, moaning in pain when it was obvious that Rudra won't move.

While Om ran to call help, Rudra watched horrified, seeing how his bhaiyaa grimaced in pain, still biting his lip to not let out a sound.

This... This is not the time to worrying about his pain.

This is about his bhaiyaa... Rudra will fight with him after his bhaiyaa had become fine.

So Rudra lifted the struggling bhaiyaa and fear gripped him at how much lighter Shivaay bhaiyaa felt. Almost like a child..

No... No...

This must be because he has strong muscles that bhaiyaa feels lighter. That has to be it. That must be it. Rudra convinced himself and moved out of the room. All the while Shivaay bhaiyaa curled inside his arm, coughing hard.

And suddenly Rudra was stuck horrified of how much his bhaiyaa suffered like this alone for eight months, not wanting to let anyone know.

How could he...?

How could he be so cruel..?

Dying..? Shivaay bhaiyaa have to be kidding him...

There's no way in hell that Rudra is going to let him..

No.. No... Don't even think about it..

If he thought about it, Rudra will fall apart and all he has to concentrate on is taking bhaiyaa to hospital.

Even though he's not the best father, Tej Singh Oberoi will do anything for their family and with utter confidence in his father to set things right if Shivaay bhaiyaa was absent, Rudra yelled, his voice laced with utter anguish..

"Dad... Dad... Dad.. Dad..."

Rudra almost ran to the down floor, still careful of not shaking his bhaiyaa who now is trying hard to breathe against his chest.

Every second felt a year..

Ever step felt like crossing a mountain..

He met everyone on the hall while Om explained something all the while crying.

Pinky Aunty looked at him descending the stairs with bhaiyaa in his arms and let out a cry of pain, joined with his mom.

His dad was thankfully solid while everyone was crumbling.

"Khanna.. Khanna.."

Khanna ran over and his father gave instructions to clear the path to hospital and moved to drive a car himself while Sakthi uncle and Om followed him to the parking.

Khanna and others started driving before them to clear a path..

His father Tej, sat on driver seat of Shivaay bhaiyaa's car which is the perfectly conditioned one regularly while Sakthi uncle sat in the front seat.

Rudra put his bhaiyaa inside the back seat, his head on Rudra's lap and legs on Om's lap while his dad had started driving.

Rudra absentmindedly noticed Dadi, Pinky Aunty, His mom, Sumo and Gauri bhabhi following them with another car.

"Dad.. You have to save him, ok? I will do anything you ask.. Please dad."

Rudra cried his heart out, thankfully his father drove fast.

"I.. I will do everything Rudra"

His father's voice stuttered out the words.

Shivaay begged whatever deity out there to give him some time.. Just few more minutes..

Shivaay struggled through the pain of his heart being squeezed.

It was the same when he found about the report of how low his survival rate is eight months ago. Just before Rudra's scandal of his secret marriage had came out in media.

His world had crumpled down with just few words on the report telling him of how his heart's condition is weakening.

After taking some sessions with doctor, it was confirmed that he only has few days or months till someone dies a brain death while their heart can match his blood type..

Which had only possibility of one percent..

And Shivaay was logical even facing death..

He has to arrange everything before he leaves the earth..

Oh God...

Om...

His Baby Ru...

They will never ever survive this...

And his mom...

Dad...

Dadi..

Prinku..

His family...

And...

And...

The girl he had fallen for...

Annika...

He had fallen for her when she came into his life as his office as temporary replacement for canteen manager post and then became Rudra's wedding planner. It was just on Rudra's haldi that he came to find about how he won't survive past few months in one of his session, making his hope to shatter that he will survive somehow.

Shivaay had never been afraid of death...

But after knowing that he's slowly dying, Shivaay became scared so much of how will his brothers survive...

So first, he decided he has to make Annika to hate him.. He cant pull her in his mess.

At first, they were like Tom and jerry, fighting over every little things from their different tastes to their opposite opinions..

The fights..

The courage..

The determination..

Everything turned his attraction into crush..

Her laugh..

Her weird language.

Her gentle nature..

Her unwavering strength..

Her smile..

Her eyes..

Everything turned his crush into love..

It was like rain...

Falling in love with her felt like rain..

From how it starts with small drops to full flood along with thunder and lightning.. Likewise Shivaay fell for her slowly, intensely and painfully with agony.

He shouldn't have..

He shouldn't have felt attracted the moment he met her..

The physical attraction was there but it was more than that..

The urge to protect her, smother her after slowly knowing of the fact she's an orphan, love her, cherish her, to never make her cry or suffer anything..

But fate has its way, maybe a punishment for how arrogant he was towards people in general.

And he avoided her...

But the most painful thing in his love was that she loved him back...

Oh.. He could see it in her secret glances, her unwillingly blushing if he so much as glanced at her; concern for him with her every gesture and her desire for him in her eyes whenever he was close.

He could see it in her eyes, the courage which even he lacked that she was going to confess bravely not caring about rejection..

He cannot...

He cannot allow that...

Even though jealousy and possessiveness burned in him, she can't become his.

No...

She won't survive his death...

All he has to do was to be SSO to her, hurt her enough.

And Prinku's marriage was being arranged with her as a wedding planner again.

And Shivaay endured through the pains and sessions with doctor alone even though he has a loving family, knowing it's no use not wanting to hurt them.

Shivaay had threatened Daksh to leave her alone and he had left. After that deciding to stage his plan, Shivaay had asked Tia, his long time friend to help him stage the fake drama along with Khanna as being another witness.

Khanna was the only one who knew and had sworn secrecy to take it to the grave about his medical report and Shivaay asked his help, knowing he cannot manage everything alone.

Shivaay started the taunting of blood, name and lineage, getting hurt by how much his words hurt her. But with extreme self control and steel face, he hurt her, making her to hesitate in her assessment of him and her feelings.

And one day brought her to the register office and he told her about some stupid story of living together which she believed instantly, making her sign as a witness to the man she loved.

And the cruel words didn't stop so as to drive her away from him but he didn't expect her to leave even the city..


But was worth every pain he endured so as to watch her move on with a determined look after months.

Of course, she will still weep if she saw the news in media after his death but it will be nothing to how she would have been if he let her confess or said those three words he had kept deep inside him.

If she even had an inkling of how he felt towards her, that he loved her, he knew that she will forgive him for every pain he had given her and would gladly die with him. Because that's how much she loved him.

But no... Everything changed after his fake drama of marriage. Yes, she loved him but no longer loves him

No matter how much his weak heart wept and wanted to hold her, he let her go knowing that he's ensuring her future, safety and happiness.

Sending her away was the only option..

She has trust and abandonment issues. And if they were in a relationship, Annika would have been thoroughly broken watching his heart weakening every day. Shivaay took the most difficult decision in his life of pushing her away so she could live, so she could be happy.

And after sending her away from his life, Shivaay begged for every deity to live at least few months so he could do everything he can for his brothers and to make them stand alone..

They are not like Annika, they will not be easily manipulated or trust if he pushed them away with cruel words. They will see through him. It's how their relationship is.

Shivaay knew for hundred percent sure that his brothers Om and Rudra will follow him if he died.

That's how his brothers were..

Because if he was in their position and one of them dying, he will without a doubt follow his brother to death.

As long as Om and Ru is, then Shivaay will be..

And he knew that they felt the same way.

What can he do to make them live...?

A partner...

A family of their own...

That's when Shivaay had decided to fully convince Rudra to marry Soumya who was really a nice and matured girl even before he found about his full report, taking precautions. He had often met her when she came to stay in his house as Rudra's friends. He had even doubted whether they are dating or just friends.

So it was another blessing when Prinku revealed her love, Shivaay convinced his family to agree.

And all that left was Om...

But when Khanna informed him of what happened when Om was in Barely, he looked at in detail about Gauri because he can't just marry anyone to Om because of his desperation.

So when he came to know about it, Shivaay had asked Dadi to push Om into this marriage while he could see how Om was attracted towards Gauri who is also a very nice and wonderful girl.

Soumya and Gauri helped his mom and Jhanvi aunty in managing the house.

Shivaay felt a familiar longing look imagining how Annika would fit rightly with them whenever he witnessed them taking care of their family.

But he could never have that...

Never...

Days passed while Shivaay felt strangely numb and calm, throwing himself in work so he can earn, completing all the deals and to get that best businessman award which was his mom's dream for so long. He wanted to fulfill everyone's dream and he did get the award much to his mother's overwhelmed happiness and his dad's silence gaze expressing how proud he is of Shivaay.

He stayed away from home, not wanting his family or his brothers to notice how his health is and how he struggled sometimes. Khanna was helpful in managing him to take hospital sometimes which he was eternally grateful for.

When his doctor had said that he don't have much time, Shivaay decided to spend however much time he has with his family, finally giving in the urge to spend his last days with his family. Of course, his brothers noticed how he has been becoming thin but they thought he is suffering because of Annika's departure.

He pampered Prinku, Gauri and Soumya with gifts, dealing ever official documents, transferring the works to Tej uncle. He made a will leaving a small part to his parents, not that his dad doesn't have anything since his dad was one of the main shareholders of the entire Oberoi business. He didn't have to worry about them.

Other than that, he left everything equally to his brothers, making sure that even if they wanted to transfer the properties to other, they cannot, making it solely theirs. Om and Ru are not like him, business minded and cunning. They're very innocent and sometimes too trusting. That's why he made sure in the documents that no one can trick them.

So he spent the last month with his mom, Dadi and even dad, allowing them to pamper him without any protest because he couldn't have any of this and he doesn't have much time.

He sometimes went out of city, knowing Annika's whereabouts, secretly watching of how she's coping from afar. She's doing well with a job as a wedding planner he had secretly helped her with the help of his power but she didn't have to know and even had offered Saahil a scholarship.

He can't watch Saahil grow and the least he can do is help him grow, do anything he can for them and it ached every time he visited her..

The urge to just tell her everything and bury himself in her embrace grew stronger every time he secretly saw her from afar.. He may be not good but not that selfish to ruin her life knowing he will die any moment.

Just yesterday, he went to see her one last time..

Knowing with how it has become so hard to breathe that Shivaay knew that he won't live anymore and his luck has run out finally.

It was a miracle he even survived these many days.

Shivaay knew that he shouldn't have hidden anything from his brothers but he knew that if he had, they would have spent every second with him and wouldn't have started a new life with their respective wives and would die with him.

Shivaay looked at Om's face and grimaced seeing how bad he is, crying silently while scolding him of how bad he is and how could he hide things from them.

Om is too sensitive and Shivaay was glad Gauri will be there to hold him together.

Shivaay averted his eyes from Om and looked at Rudra, his baby Ru who was openly weeping with loud sobs.

Shivaay bit his lips harder to act stronger even now, to tell them that not to worry.

Shivaay cannot look at tears from his brothers.

He cannot handle this... He didn't want anyone to suffer.. Least of all his brothers who are everything to him.

Om felt like his mind and heart is going to shut down because he didn't feel alive..

He couldn't feel past the mind numbing sadness and anger at Shivaay..

Even more angered at himself.

He should have noticed...

He should have...

How could he be so ignorant? Om felt ashamed because if it were him, Shivaay would have noticed immediately.

While Om and Rudra were starting their new life with their wives, his brother was suffering from this pain for how long..

Guilt ate inside Om...

And all of a sudden everything made sense. Why Shivaay was so adamant at marrying them so that they have a responsibly they can't leave and follow their brother death.

"Shivaay... Cruel.. You're so cruel Shivaay... How could you? This is why you married us, isn't it? How could you? Why did you hide this from us? Why? You've saved me from myself. You taught me to walk, to eat, to run.. You cooked for me, took care of me, were there for me when even my parents thought of me as a lost cause.. You saved me from drugs.. You saved me Shivaay.. You're the reason Om is alive and you're telling now that you're gonna leave us? I.. I will never forgive myself if something happened to you Shivaay.. How stupid I was? How couldn't I notice anything till now? How could I live with myself without you Shivaay? "

Shivaay's eyes gave the answer and Om's heart felt like being pierced by thousands of arrows.

Shivaay grimaced in pain but looked at him,

"Om... Om... Please.. Listen carefully.. I.. Blame me.. I planned everything from beginning. None of this is your fault. It was I who wanted to hide.. You know how good of an actor I am.. So.. please.. Don't hurt yourself.."

The sobs Om had tried hard to keep in so as to not worry Rudra more had finally came out, not able to control and he leaned down, his long hair, covering his face and touched Shivaay's legs which has been on his lap.

He let it out..

Om tried hard to pull the sobs in so that Rudra won't be scared but he cannot take it anymore.

Shivaay...

His bhai Shivaay even now trying to comfort Om and easing his pain while Shivaay is going through so much pain which Om could see through his grimaces.

Om held Shivaay's legs gently even though the car is being driven faster.

Rudra wept harder, painful sobs being out of his mouth hearing how bhaiyaa still comforted Om..

Rudra hugged his Shivaay bhaiyaa's head on his lap and tried to stop crying but failed miserably.

Hearing how Om mentioned of how bhaiyaa married them off just so they won't die with his brother. How could he do this?

This is not happening..

This is definitely not happening..

He's Shivaay bhaiyaa..

Baby Ru's Shivaay bhaiyaa..

"Bhaiyaa... Bhaiyaa... You can't leave us.. This.. I.. I won't let you go.. You're Shivaay Singh Oberoi, the great SSO who can do anything, right bhaiyaa? Please don't do this to us. Tell me that you'll make everything right... Please Bhaiyaa.. You always said, one for all and all for one then why are you doing this to us? You betrayed us bhaiyaa... Why? How? Bhaiyaa"

Rudra stopped talking since he can't form coherent words with the way his mind is in chaos.

"I.. I am sorry Ru.. I am sorry Om.. But I want you two to live. I'm..."

Shivaay bhaiyaa started coughing and winced as if in extreme pain to even breathe.

"No... Don't speak bhaiyaa.. It's fine.. We will speak after you got better bhaiyaa. Let's forget about all of this for now. Just get better bhaiyaa.. You're my superman bhaiyaa, right? Who will save me from Sumo's lecture on surveys? Who will cook for me? Who will support me while I tease O? Who will lie beside me while Dadi tells stories? Who will be there for me whenever I need and even when I don't need you? Who will bhaiyaa? You have to live bhaiyaa.. You're not just a brother to me.. And you know that.. You know that you're my father, you're my mother, you're my guardian, you're my protector, you're my best friend... You're everything for me bhaiyaa.. You can't leave me... I can't live without you.. Take my heart if necessary but live bhaiyaa.. Please live.. Take my heart but please live"

Rudra wiped his face repeatedly yet the tears continued and he didn't know what he would do...

Shivaay's eyes betrayed Shivaay by letting tears out and he gritted his teeth, clenching his fingers tight, gathering every ounce of strength left in him to act strong for his brothers.

"Baby Ru.. Om... I am really sorry... I.. I love you two both.. Yeah? And I want you to promise me something, all of you."

Shivaay mentioned his dad and bade papa too who were silent till now and could tell they're nodding even without looking.

"After I am gone..."

He was interrupted with loud protests from both Ru and Om, he told them to listen to him and they did just like always, obeyed him.

"Dad, Look after mom and Bade papa, look after our family."

He told them who were silently driving and got the replies as to not speak like this and save his energy till they reach hospital. He ignored their protests and looked at Om and Rudra...

"Take care of our family, yeah? Take care of Dadi, Prinku, Gauri and Soumya. Also take care of my mom and look after my dad, yeah? Om, don't fight with bade papa and Ru, help my dad and bade Papa in business in future. Don't trust everyone easily.. As long as we're together, no one can touch the Oberois.."

Shivaay shuddered, feeling as if his lungs are betraying him.. He whispered the next words, spilling his innermost worries.

"Don't tell Annika about any of this and check on her once in a while... And Om take care of Rudra, you know how he gets depressed.. And Ru, take care of Om as you know how he is too sensitive to emotions."

Om and Rudra could not even imagine how hurt their brother must have been to let Annika go and they cannot even imagine how their brother went through the previous months.

Shivaay bit his lips hard enough to bleed, trying to refrain from telling how bad he wanted to see them grow older but kept it in..

Even now, he wanted to not make them worried even more.

He wanted them to live..

Live for him too...

Shivaay's worries grew knowing he won't be here to look after them and hoped beyond anything that they will live happily after getting past his death.

Of course that doesn't mean he's cold hearted and tough man who doesn't feel sad about his own death..

Only Shivaay knew how he spent the past few months..

He won't be there when his brothers will have a child..

He won't be there to see his brother's children grow..

He won't be there anymore with the best family anyone could have..

He won't be there for Annika and Saahil..

Shivaay tried to let go of the longing thoughts because he doesn't have the right to wish since he doesn't have time.

The person he had helped standing up and taught how to walk is holding his legs in his last minutes..

And the person who as a child always slept on his lap is lending a lap to him in his last minutes..

Talk about irony...

Shivaay could feel his heart beats slowing down as if trying hard to keep pumping the blood even now stubbornly just like him, trying it's hardest.

He still have strength to utter few words and Shivaay used that strength to utter the words he won't regret for using last of his strength.

"I... I love you Om.. I love you Baby Ru.. Never doubt that.. You both are not only my brothers.. My children.. So don't.. Don't waste your life and live happily knowing that you two are everything to Shivaay.. Shivaay would have been nothing but a cruel person if it were not for you two.. So... I'm grateful for all those seconds I had with you both. I love you both... So.. Live.."

Shivaay tried to curl inward, not registering what his brothers were saying and closed his eyes all of a sudden feeling tired.

Tears kept at bay started flowing down and he vaguely registered him being lifted to some sort of bed, making his fuzzy brain realize that they must have reached hospital..

His brother Om and his Baby Ru were continuously yelling at him which he cannot understand. All he got from that were the words, will never forgive you Shivaay, Will never forgive you Bhaiyaa and please, please, please

He had visited hospital for months and was no use..

Shivaay knew his heart is going to give out and he opened his eyes with the strength and will power he could muster. It was worth the effort because the last thing he saw were his brothers leaning over him while pushing the stricture before his eyes closed..

The last thing he uttered were mumbled words of love you Om and Ru and sorry that he can't be with them...

The last thing he heard were the pain filled and anguished cry of his brothers Om and Ru echoing the silent hospital.

Just one more...

Just one more time..

Just one more time he wanted to go back to the carefree days of childhood, playing around with Om and Rudra..

Just one more time he wanted to sleep in his mother's lap while his father caressed his gelled hair despite his protests.

Just one more time he wanted to be amidst of Dadi, Jhanvi aunty, Prinku and bade papa..

Just one more time he wanted to see Soumya pulling Rudra by ears to act mature and Gauri pampering Om, of how well his brothers are starting their new life..

Just one more time he wanted to see her.. His Annika who was never meant to be his..

Just one more time he wanted to go back to the days of teasing her, watching her blush with his blatant flirting, to see her concerned towards him, to want to be in her arms while she held him...

Above all that...

Just one more time he wanted to relive the days he had with his brothers, playing around, pranking Om with the help of Ru, pampering Ru much to the irritation of Om, helping them with nothing and everything, cooking for them, helping them grow, looking after them, being with them, his brothers fighting stupidly of whom Shivaay loved more between Om and Ru...

Just one more time...

His heart beat one last time, indicating that he's dying within seconds...

And the last thought his brain could form before giving into the eternal sleep called death was,

It would have been nice to go back to the days of sneaking glances at Annika and spending fun time with Om and Rudra while surrounded by their family Just One More Time

Nandhu_Writer