ShraMan OS || Aaj Jaane Ki Zid Na Karo || EDKV | Shravan | Suman

How could he? She couldn't wrap her head around it, her innocent best friend. What had he become? She failed to recognize him anymore. Why couldn't he see she had no choice? How could he believe that she didn't love him that she didn't care. How could a strong, brilliant lawyer reduce himself to a wayward drunkard? Throwing around words that staked her heart. Categorizing women like he did. Did he really mean what he said? She knew he had women issues and trust issues but didn't he say he thought differently of her? And now it had boiled down to a woman shouldn't have a mind of her own, she should graciously take what her husband had to offer and in return keep him happy in bed. That was her best friend's suggestion to her, for a happily married life? How could he think she would be happy with Aditya, and with Shravan's barbed and vengeful suggestions? She knew the one thing she would never be, was happy. As if all of his words weren't enough, he flirted with that gold digger and took her to his room? To enjoy? What did that even mean? Did he really change so much in all of his years away? Did he have one-night stands? Did he throw around sex like it was a commodity? Was the letter she found really just a caricature of the past that could have been?

"What have you done Shravan! Why?" She yelled looking at the skies. She had walked for quite some while but home was still a distance away. She took in her surroundings; it was deathly silent, not even the sound of wind rustling the trees. She saw the park Shravan and her would often visit. Her feet off her own accord took her to the garden where she sat exhausted on the lawn. It wasn't the walk that had fatigued her. It was life. All her life she kept running, from fear, from hate, from the love she was deprived, from loneliness, from her own mistakes, she ran. Her exterior was that of a very strong lady where in reality she was all but broken. What kept her going all of these years was Nanu and her best friend whom she had fallen hopelessly in love with. Waiting for his return gave her the strength to get through each day. Sure she pushed him away these past few weeks, but that was his father's bidding. Tonight all was lost. He was gone. She didn't know this Shravan Malhotra. Who even was this guy? What had he done to her Shravan? She realized there was no point anymore. Shravan was beyond redemption and she was to be married to his step brother, oh how fate plays!

"Bohot dard hua hoga na aj tumko Shravan?" She spoke caressing his picture on her phone. He smiled innocently at the camera with sparkling eyes. How had life changed so much in a matter of a few days. His smile was lost. His eyes now only held pain and torment and she was in part responsible for it too. "Kaisa lag raha hoga tumko seeing your mother's beloved child get everything that was rightfully yours?"

Suman sighed in pain. It was getting late and cooler. Her mental faculties told her it was best she returned home. Delhi wasn't exactly a safe place. But she was so wary she could barely get back on her feet. She caressed her stomach where Shravan had held her harshly. She could still feel the burning sensations his touches always seemed to invoke. She felt the soft skin of her neck where his stubbled chin had rested. It wreaked havoc in her senses. At that point she could only manage to croak a simple "Shravan you're hurting me.." When in fact all she wanted to do was stay in his arms forever, safe and secure. No sooner had the though crossed her mind she imagined the white saree gold digger in Shravan's arms. Shravan doing everything she wanted him to do unto her. It made her cringe. Did he really? Could he? Sleep with her? Fresh tears made their way down her damp cheeks. She let the sobs break through her body unhindered. Why was life being so cruel to her? There was nothing left in her to crush.

The rustling of bushes behind her made her senses go into overdrive. She looked around and saw nobody. She decided it was probably wind till she heard footsteps come closer to her. The darkness made it impossible to see who it was.

She knew she should run but her feet refused to budge. As fear grew in her so did the approaching footsteps. From the shadow and gait she could make out it was a man. Her brain kicked in, she sprang to her feet and ran for her life. She could hear the man running behind her. "Aaahh!" Her heels broke. Damn shoes! Terrible timing. She took them off in a swift motion, threw them and started running again only this time it was difficult for she had twisted her leg. The figure was approaching her faster than she imagined. The dim streetlights did nothing to give away his identity. "RUKO!"

She heard him bellow. She thought she almost imagined him yelling. She was so out of breath she could pass out. She unlocked her phone and called the one person she was sure would never let any harm come to her. "Pick up! Pick up! Shravan please! Damn it!" The call rang through and got cut, she redialed and while looking at her phone she misjudged a pothole and tumbled. The fall caused her phone to fling out of reach. She saw the man approaching faster and faster. She clutched her feet close to her torso and buried her face. She was sure the worst had come upon her. She wasn't able to move with the pain in her foot and so she gave in to fate. The man, she heard stopped right in front of her. She had never felt her insides grip so bad with fear. She felt him go behind her as he kneeled. "Please... Please mujhe jaane do..." She whimpered. The man however was relentless. He roughly grabbed her midriff and thrust her into his torso. "Please no.. let me go she tried fighting him. She delivered a few blows in his stomach with her elbows. He held both her hands in his massive fist so easily as though she was negligible a resistance. "Chodo!" She yelled as the man buried his face in the crook of her neck and placed an open mouth kiss on the base roughly. "Ahhh.." She cried.

"Did that hurt?" He asked.

Even in her torment and fear she would have to be dead to not recognize his voice. It was then she looked up at his face. She should have been angry but relief washed over her entire being as she let go of all her restraint and collapsed into him. Her back rested on his torso as one of his hands held her hands firmly while the other held her stomach tighter as he pulled her further into him and let his head rest in the small of her neck.

He let her calm herself against him. He drew mindless patterns on the soft skin of her stomach. The heat rose in her. "Shra..van.. pl..ease.."

"Please what?" asked he as his fingers travelled lower down her belly.

Suman gasped as her heart picked pace. "Ple..ase..."

"Please what Sumo? Please stop? Please take me? What?"

It was then that Suman realized they were in the middle of the road, she was someone else's fiance and he had been sleeping with someone else. "Chodo mujhe!"

"Really! From Please Shravan to chodo mujhe. Weren't you basking in my embrace love?" He taunted as he nibbled at her ear.

"Shravan! Nahi! Chodo!" She tried futilely to get out of his grip. He reeked of alcohol. "Chodo".

"Sumo, lets face it. If I want to I can take you right here and you would be able to do nothing. But you know what, I won't. You know why? Cause your sorry ass isn't worth the effort."

Suman felt disgusted. He just kept falling lower and lower. He let go of her roughly as she stumbled forward. Shravan got up from behind her and stood before her with his hand outstretched. "Chalo.."

Suman looked at him in disbelief. He put her through all of this and now he's offering help.

"Shooting daggers isn't actually going to kill me, well I wish it did, but it won't. So quit it and let's go. Because of your crazy marathon my car is still outside the park. We'll have to walk it out."

"So all of this is my fault isn't it?"

"Hell yeh? Who's else could it be?"

"You came in stealth mode I freaked out."

"As if you didn't hear me yelling Ruko Ruko!"

"Yes well in fear I'd know it's you?!"

Shravan smiled painfully. "That's the whole thing you know. Fear or otherwise you just don't know me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll never understand."

"Make me.."

"Doesn't matter anymore." He said flatly.

"I'm sure it doesn't. Why are you here then?"

"I don't need to answer. Get up."

"The hell you do! Why are you here if it doesn't matter! And who are you to throw orders at me."

"Why yes! I forgot. I am a nobody. I'm not your friend, I'm not your foe, I'm not the guy you're marrying. I'm just no one to you. But our families know each other and no matter how much of a bas**rd I am, I would not leave an injured girl alone in the middle of the night in the middle of the road. Suppose something was to happen to you, I'd have another burden to carry. So don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for me!"

"Oh! So you're merely a selfish assh**e?" She asked astonished.

"That is correct." He said plainly.

"So if you have so much of respect for women, why did you sleep with that girl?"

"What is it to you? I'm a nobody, a selfish assh**e, a bas**rd who sleeps around with women. One you thought was here to rape you. One you so ardently tried to get away from and succeed. What is it to you now? Mai kuch bhi karoon. It's not your blo**y business." He hissed.

She could see the pain. She could see his torment. He was letting himself fall. He was taking the fall. He was being the bad guy. This was some sort of twisted self-preservation plan of his. No matter what he said, it was spite. No matter she was marrying someone else, she loved him. And he was killing himself with every last figment of his strength. She feared for he succeeded in everything he set his heart on. If he set his heart on killing himself, then she was sure he would die and she wouldn't have that. She took his palm, which was still outstretched and got up with his support. He put his arm around her and held her firmly to him. "Can you walk?"

"Yes." She asserted meekly.

They set out towards the park. With each step Suman's whimpers increased. "I've had enough." Grunted Shravan and lifted her up in his strong arms.

"Let go of me!" she struggled having absolutely no effect on Shravan. "Let go!"

"Aj nahi Sumo! Aj nahi!"

The timber of his voice and the authority it held made Suman simply give in. It felt so perfect. This is all she had ever wanted. All she had ever expected out of life. Sharvan, was her dream. Little did she know, it was his dream too...

Waqt ki qaid mein zindagi hai magar
Chand ghadiyan yahi hai jo azaad hai
Chand ghadiyan yahi hai jo azaad hai

Inko kho kar meri jaane jaan aa
Umr bhar na taraste raho
Aaj jane ki zidd naa karo

They reached the car and Shravan tried opening the door with his fingers, "Sumo, darwaza khol do please.."

He looked at her when she didn't respond. Her eyes were shut, face buried in his chest and her petit fingers clutched his collar tightly. "Sumo?" She still didn't respond. Fear gripped him, Sumo had passed out? "Suman, Sumo! Utho!" He placed her by the car and fetched a bottle of water. Sprinkling some water he shook he back to consciousness.

"Tum theek ho?" He asked holding her to him.

"Ab theek hoon..."

Shravan looked at her with all the love he had. But he knew this was wrong. She was never his. "Chalo mai tumhe ghar chodd deta hoon.." He began to stand up when Suman held his hand and nudged her head in the negative. He simply got up, opened the passenger side door, scooped her up carefully and placed her on the seat gently. He made sure she was comfortable and her seat belt was well in place. He got into the car and began driving.

"You really shouldn't drive when you're drunk Shravan.. Actually you shouldn't drink at all.."

Shravan didn't respond. She couldn't handle the silence. "I said something Shravan."

"And I heard."

"Why didn't you respond?"

"You wouldn't have liked the answer..."

"Which is what?" she pressed.

"Why do you care!?" He whispered.

She didn't reply. "Your silence says its all Suman. Even if there is a fragment of you that cares, you wouldn't care enough to voice it."

"Suman? Why did you call me Suman?"

"That's your name isn't it?"

"That's not what you've called me in a while now.."

"At least I'm calling you Suman as off yet.."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't be so naive Suman!" Growing a bit agitated.

"I don't understand what you mean.."

Shravan jammed the breaks, the car skid a bit but he got control over it. Calm as death he turned towards her and spoke in hushed but angry tones. "You don't understand is it? Are you really this stupid or all of it is pretence? Why are you calling me Suman? Why won't you be calling me?" He mimed. "Let me spell it out to you. Cause in a week's time you'll be married to the man that stole everything that was mine. I won't call you Sumo anymore cause I have no right to. Who snatched the right? That would be you! Why won't I be calling you at all in the future? Cause what makes you think that husband of yours will approve or that I would talk to someone else's wife, a woman I once loved! Only you Suman! Only you could skin and gut a person alive in one moment and then ask him why does he hurt so!" Shravan sighed. "I believe that answers all your questions. Cause there is really nothing more left to say."

"If you were so hurt why were you sleeping around?"

Shravan let out a pained laugh of disbelief. "That's all that matters to you right."

"Jawab do na..."

"It doesn't matter. None of it does. I'll be gone tomorrow. This is the last time you have to deal with me. The last time you will have to tolerate my presence in your vicinity. I'm leaving for London, and I swear I will never come back. Never cross paths with you. I'd rather die than see you married to someone else. So all of your questions will be unimportant, for why would a man that is a no one to you matter? Someone you'd never meet again can sleep with whom ever for f**k sake and wouldn't make a difference."

Suman couldn't stop the tears from spilling. She had hurt him beyond any point of return. She heard his heart break and hers with him.

Haaye mar jaaenge hum to lut jaaenge
Aisi baaten kiya naa karo
Aaj jane ki zid naa karo

Shravan drove them back to Tiwari Killa. "Our journey ends here. I trust you can walk into your home by yourself." Said Shravan not looking at her.

She nodded and took her leave. As Shravan saw her heading away from him, he felt his life slip out of his hands slowly. As Suman walked with heavy feet away from him, she felt her heart constrict. Why was life so cruel they both thought?

Suman entered home and shut the door behind her. No sooner had she closed him out he cried. The prospect of loosing her, the thought of never getting to see her again was already making his living difficult. Her being someone else's, oh he could die right now. He said what he said, he did what he did to extract an answer out of her. To have her say she loved him. But none of it happened and he felt disgusted of his being.

Writer: Orion23